


Not Another Freaking Homestuck Drabble Challenge

by Lawnmowergirl



Category: Homestuck
Genre: 100 word drabbles because I'm a big dumb, Drabbles, F/F, F/M, Gen, M/M, Random Pairing Generator, most of these will be gen btw
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-10-03
Updated: 2012-12-31
Packaged: 2017-11-15 13:25:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 1,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/527792
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lawnmowergirl/pseuds/Lawnmowergirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I put the beta and alpha kids, postscratch trolls, and cherubs in a grid and use a random number generator to determine the sequence of a ridiculous quantity of 100-word drabbles. These won't all be written in a quadrant or anything; in fact, most of them will be gen, and I'm leaving in the self combinations for the sake of introspective drabbles or something! friendship or otherwise non-romantic pairings will be indicated with an ampersand in the chapter title; quadrant symbols will also be used in chapter titles, to clear up any potential confusion.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Feferi & Calliope

While her ancestor (or was she really? It was awfully complicated) was trying to gather an army, Feferi was off doing a little adventuring of her own, just for the halibut. It didn't seem like there was much else she _could_ do. The dreaming dead can only wander through memories familiar and foreign.

Feferi felt more comfortable conversing with the Horrorterrors than anyone else; she'd been raised by one, after all. She heard them whisper of the Muse of Space and went searching for her.

They had both been through so much. Platonic love can break hearts too.


	2. Jade♥♦♠Karkat

"Move _over_ , fuckass!" Jade whined, reaching for the popcorn.

Karkat snatched the bowl and held it up over his head, just out of reach. Kernels sprinkled down like the rainbows on LOLAR. "No, Jade, I will not. Especially if _that_ is the most creative epithet your pathetic human-slash-barkbeast thinkpan can come up with."

"You're sitting on me, you...buttface!" Jade used her powers as the Witch of Space to move the popcorn bowl into her hands and Karkat onto the couch cushion next to her.

"Ooh, is this the part where the two barkbeasts eat the Earth pasta?"


	3. Aradia ♥ Equius

Aradia Megido, self-appointed caretaker of the afterlife, stood (or, rather,floated) in front of the boy (these gods and ghosts were still, when all was said and done, children) who had once made a robot for her.

"I'm sorry," she said calmly. "I would have said goodbye to you, too, but I didn't get the chance to. I only had enough time to talk to Sollux before my soulbot croaked." Aradia giggled.

Equius stared at her through his cracked sunglasses. "Lowblood," he stammered. "That was my finest work you destroyed."

Aradia smiled wryly, rolling her eyes. "I love you, too." 


	4. John & Jake

The Heir of Breath addressed the Page of Hope: "So, you're...Jade's grandpa, right?"

"How in the name of flip can I be my own great-great grandfather?"

The Heir sighed. "I thought Rose and Dave already explained the Scratch to you."

"They did," the Page huffed. "It's just an awful lot to wrap one's head around. I mean, I'm talking to a teenage wind god who's my friend Jane's famous deceased comedian grandfather!"

"But, biologically, you're my dad...man, now _I'm_ getting confused. Let's start over. Hi, I'm John!"

"Jake. Wanna catch a movie?"

"As long as it's not Con Air!"


	5. Jane & Caliborn

Jane's chat client pinged. There was an unfamiliar name on the screen, and they didn't seem friendly. Was this the weirdo who'd been bothering Dirk?

uu: HELLO JANE HuMAN.  
GG: Oh, leave me alone, you big meanie! If you mess with Dirk or me or any of our friends again, I'll sleuth the hell out of your sorry ass!  
uu: OH. WOW. I'M SO FuCKING SCARED. SOMEONE SAVE ME.  
uu: JuST LISTEN, SLuT. I'D LIKE TO PLAY A GAME WITH YOu.  
GG: ...  
uu: CONFESS YOuR FEELINGS TO THE JAKE HuMAN. AND SEND ME THE LOG. OR THERE WILL BE *CONSEQuENCES*.  
\- - gutsyGumshoe [GG] blocked undyingUmbrage [uu]\- -

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HTML editing is such a pain in the ass on a Kindle omfg and this was my first time doing pesterlog formatting online so there was a lot of trial and error  
> in the end it took at least three times as long to format as it did to write jfc


	6. Gamzee & Calliope

This oddly-dressed troll was even more riddled with holes than her dreamself had been. But he was alive, and she wasn’t.

“What happened to you?” she asked.

“Shot all full of holes by a little green motherfucker much like yourself, chica.” He smiled, shrugging.

Calliope gasped.

“Little motherfuckin’ brother refused to all up and accept the miracles I was tryin’ to gift to him. But it all worked out in the end, and now he’s off on his miraculous motherfuckin’ quest.”

Calliope sighed. “Could you, maybe... tell me about Alternia?”

Gamzee smiled wistfully. “Alternia was a true motherfuckin’ miracle, mamasita.”


	7. Jane & Aradia

Was that... John's dancestor? Wearing a fedora? Yes. Yes, it was.

"Hi!"

Jane recoiled when she saw Aradia, but then she blinked and apologized. "I'm sorry, I thought you were someone else..."

"Do I really look that much like Damara?" Aradia laughed.

Jane shook her head and smiled with amused embarrassment.

"Nice hat. I had one just like it once."

"Thanks! You're a Maid too, right?"

"The Maid of Time, at your service!" Aradia curtsied, giggling.

"Maybe all Maids get one?" Jane mused.

"Hmmm...let's go see if Porrim has a fedora."

"We'll sleuth this fashion mystery together!"


	8. John & Calliope

John woke up with a ring in his hand and the feeling he was being watched. Glancing around warily, he slipped it onto his finger.

Suddenly there was a strange-looking troll standing — floating — in front of him.

"Um."

She seemed startled, flustered.

"You're...?"

"I'm... Calliope," she stammered, apparently unaccustomed to speaking.

"I thought you were a cherub, not a troll...?"

"It's a long story...but, you can see me! Um...am I pretty?"

John blinked. "Yeah. Yeah to both. Plus you're the key to defeating Lord English, and really talented and sweet, from what I've heard..."

Calliope beamed, smiling sun-bright.


	9. Dave♥John

He'd said he was going to offer Dave a "tender bro embrace", but when they finally did meet in person, John realized he'd underestimated, misjudged his own feelings.

He found himself holding the hug for far longer than he'd meant to, and it didn't escape Dave's notice.

"Whoa there, buddy," Dave laughed, "my sensors indicate that you've been hugging me for seven — eight seconds longer than is acceptable for bros."

"…well, you don't seem to be letting go either."

"It's an experiment. Now, we can do this the easy way, or the hard way..."

"How about the hard way?"

Awkward.


	10. Nepeta & Eridan

He'd never expected her to visit. But here she was, sitting on the ledge with her tail curled around a gargoyle.

"As an ex _purr_ t huntress," she said suddenly, quietly, "I can _tail_ when I should scurry away instead of picking a fight."

He glared up at her. "An' w-what's _that_ supposed t' mean?"

"From the _fur_ st instant I set paw here, I knew these angels were bad _mews_."

"That's w-why I'm killin' 'em, Nep."

She shook her head. "They're dange _purr_ ous to your san _kitty_! If I could find you a _meow_ rail, I'd worry less..."

His pride was too strong for his own good.


End file.
